Five Times Revenge Read online

  DEDICATION

  For Rebecca and Martha, co-conspirators.

  And for Gracie, Isaac, Ella, Noah, and John-boy … always.

  CONTENTS

  Dedication

  Chapter 1: Adam

  Chapter 2: Perk

  Chapter 3: Adam

  Chapter 4: Perk

  Chapter 5: Adam

  Chapter 6: Perk

  Chapter 7: Adam and Perk

  Chapter 8: Ray

  Chapter 9: Pearl

  Chapter 10: Dutch

  Chapter 11: Adam

  Chapter 12: Perk

  Chapter 13: Ray

  Chapter 14: Pearl

  Chapter 15: Dutch

  Chapter 16: Adam

  Chapter 17: Perk

  Chapter 18: Ray

  Chapter 19: Pearl

  Chapter 20: Dutch

  Chapter 21: Perk

  Chapter 22: Adam

  Chapter 23: Ray

  Chapter 24: Pearl

  Chapter 25: Dutch

  Chapter 26: Adam

  Chapter 27: Perk

  Chapter 28: Ray

  Chapter 29: Pearl

  Chapter 30: Dutch

  Chapter 31: Adam

  Chapter 32: Perk

  Chapter 33: Adam

  Chapter 34: Perk

  Chapter 35: Ray

  Chapter 36: Pearl

  Chapter 37: Dutch

  Chapter 38: Adam

  Chapter 39: Perk

  Chapter 40: Ray

  Chapter 41: Pearl

  Chapter 42: Dutch

  Chapter 43: Adam

  Chapter 44: Perk

  Chapter 45: Ray

  Chapter 46: Pearl

  Chapter 47: Dutch

  Chapter 48: Adam

  Chapter 49: Perk

  Chapter 50: Adam

  Chapter 51: Perk

  Chapter 52: Ray

  Chapter 53: Pearl

  Chapter 54: Dutch

  Chapter 55: Perk

  Chapter 56: Adam

  Chapter 57: Ray

  Chapter 58: Pearl

  Chapter 59: Dutch

  Chapter 60: Adam

  Chapter 61: Perk

  Chapter 62: Ray

  Chapter 63: Pearl

  Chapter 64: Adam

  Chapter 65: Perk

  Chapter 66: Adam

  Chapter 67: Perk

  Chapter 68: Ray

  Chapter 69: Pearl

  Chapter 70: Dutch

  Chapter 71: Adam

  Chapter 72: Perk

  Chapter 73: Ray

  Chapter 74: Pearl

  Chapter 75: Dutch

  Chapter 76: Adam

  Chapter 77: Perk

  Chapter 78: Ray

  Chapter 79: Pearl

  Chapter 80: Dutch

  Chapter 81: Adam

  Chapter 82: Perk

  Chapter 83: Ray

  Chapter 84: Pearl

  Chapter 85: Dutch

  Chapter 86: Adam

  Chapter 87: Perk

  Chapter 88: Ray

  Chapter 89: Pearl

  Chapter 90: Dutch

  Chapter 91: Adam

  Chapter 92: Perk

  Chapter 93: Adam

  Chapter 94: Perk

  Chapter 95: Adam

  Chapter 96: Perk

  Chapter 97: Ray

  Chapter 98: Pearl

  Chapter 99: Dutch

  Chapter 100: Adam, Perk, Tommy, Ray, Dutch, and Pearl

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  CHAPTER 1

  Adam

  Not many eighth graders arrive early to their middle school in the morning, at least not on purpose. They usually spill out of squeaky bus doors, or dash down the sidewalk with only minutes to spare, hoping to avoid the secretary and her tapping foot and waiting red pen. They slip into chairs just as the bell rings or hand over the late notice. They’re never early.

  But there was only one April 1st out of the whole year, and there was only one Adam Baker.

  Sort of like there is only one Harry Potter, one Percy Jackson, one Cinderella.

  Of course, Adam Baker wasn’t a wizard or a demigod and definitely not a princess.

  He was just a normal, ordinary eighth grader … but then again, who or what is ordinary?

  After locking his bike to the metal rack, Adam scanned the parking lot and waited for his best friend, Perk, to arrive. The secretary, Mrs. Gingko, and the janitor, Mr. Jelepy, were usually the only people who arrived this early. Sure enough, there was Mrs. Gingko’s small Ford Escort parked in the employee parking lot, and Mr. Jelepy’s bike was locked next to Adam’s. But there was no sign of Principal Parmar’s pristine Shelby Cobra.

  Mr. Parmar, the principal of Anderson Middle School, and his high-and-mighty son, Hill, hated Adam’s guts and everything surrounding his guts and on top of his guts and then all the blood and bones and skin in between his guts.

  The feeling was mutual.

  Perk said Principal Parmar hated Adam because he knew that Adam was smarter than he was. Mr. Parmar loved to brag about how he got a perfect score on his SATs and his ACTs and all the other three-letter tests out there that a man needs to take in order to become a principal of a middle-sized middle school.

  Adam knew he wasn’t smarter than Mr. Parmar—not in a test score way—but he did know all of Mr. Parmar’s computer passwords. He knew that Mr. Parmar had a prescription for chronic foot fungus, and that he had been caught cheating on his teachers exam in college and had to retake it … twice.

  Adam was smarter in a more useful way.

  And Perk said that Principal Parmar’s son, Hill, hated Adam’s guts because Adam beat him in everything—whether it was the fifty-yard dash, or a race to finish a cupcake first. It actually had become a sort of game for Adam. Really, Adam knew going into each “competition” that he could lose. Hill was more athletic, he was stronger, he had a bigger appetite, and he was more handsome. But when Adam acted like he didn’t care if he won or lost, it unhinged Hill.

  Adam didn’t think either of those things was the reason Mr. Parmar and Hill hated his guts.

  It was because Adam couldn’t—he wouldn’t—be pushed around.

  He laughed when Hill taped a “kick me” sign to his back (was Hill really that uncreative?) or threw him against a locker or dumped milk on his lunch (it was disgusting, true, but better to eat a sandwich swimming in chocolate milk than give Hill any satisfaction). And when he found his absences had mysteriously gone from a few days to a few weeks, he made sure that it was on the record that he hadn’t missed a day in three years.

  “Hey.”

  Adam looked up and grinned at his best friend. “You ready?”

  “Let’s do it,” Perk said. He took a bite of the chocolate-frosted donut in his hand and held out the bag to Adam. “Glazed? Last one.”

  Glazed were his favorite. Actually, any sort of donut was his favorite. If it was fried and then dusted with sugar or cinnamon or sugar and cinnamon or covered in frosting, it was his favorite. Adam reached in the bag and pulled it out. “Thanks. You have the tape and the Vaseline?”

  Perk tossed him a roll of Scotch tape and a small jar. “You have the signs?”

  Adam stuck the donut in his mouth without biting into it and unzipped his backpack, pulling out a stack of white papers. He handed Perk half of them before taking a proper bite of his donut. He said through chews, “I’ll go this way and you go that way. We’ll meet at the back doors and then go inside.”

  Perk nodded. “See ya in a few.”

  Adam ate his donut and made his way around all the outside doors, taping “WET PAINT. PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR” signs
on the panes of glass. The thought of the endless circle of students and teachers walking from door to door around the building brought a smile to his face.

  He and Perk met at the back of the school. “You want to do the honors?” Adam asked.

  Perk punched in the teachers’ code for the doors and they walked in.

  “I’ll take everything from the cafeteria to the Spanish and French rooms,” Perk said, starting off down the hall to the stairs.

  Adam nodded. “I’ll do the rest. Meet you at Parmar’s office in fifteen.”

  Within twenty minutes they had hung up all the signs on the doors. Adam chuckled when the first bell rang and the halls were still relatively empty—everyone still circling outside trying to figure out where to come in.

  Mrs. Gingko sat in her red swivel chair inside the main office eating an orange, one painful slice at a time—the juice splurting out in more directions than Adam could have thought. Principal Parmar’s office was just behind her, the doorknob practically begging to be slathered in the slippery Vaseline.

  Adam looked at Perk and smiled. “Ready for the door?”

  “I’ll distract her.” Perk walked up to Mrs. Gingko and Mrs. Gingko’s orange—which dotted the front of Perk’s coat with a stream of juice. “Hi, Mrs. Gingko,” he said.

  She looked up. “What do you need, dear?”

  Perk shrugged. “Oh, Mr. Parmar asked me to come and get you to help take down those signs on all the doors. A dumb prank, it looks like.”

  Mrs. Gingko stood up, leaving the rest of the orange seeping through a piece of paper towel. She sighed. “Where is he?”

  “He said he was taking the ones down on this side of the school and asked if you could take down the rest on the other side of the school.”

  Perk and Adam watched her click-clack down the hallway.

  Then they walked into the main office, straight for Principal Parmar’s closed office door. Adam pulled out the Vaseline and slathered the doorknob with a thick layer. He stepped back and nodded his head.

  Perk smiled. “That’ll keep him busy for a while.”

  Just then, Parmar’s voice echoed from just down the hall and his walkie-talkie blared. “What are you doing at the other end of the school, Debbie?” he said. “Get down here.”

  “He’s coming,” Adam whispered. He tucked the Vaseline in his pocket.

  Static followed and Mrs. Gingko “ten-four-ed” back.

  Adam and Perk ducked into the nurse’s office as Parmar walked in. Mrs. Zelinsky, the music teacher, followed after him, wiping her hands on a paper towel.

  “You’ve got to do something. He’s becoming a menace in the hallways. Stuffing kids in lockers, flushing homework, not to mention that just last week he hung William Bubert in the teachers’ lounge by his underwear.” She cringed. “The poor boy couldn’t walk for days. And just now I caught him supergluing Dutch Walker’s locker shut, so not only is Mr. Jelepy going to have to get the locker open, but Dutch is going to have to get another lock. You know that he and his grandfather are barely making it.”

  Mr. Parmar looked down at Mrs. Gingko’s orange and popped a slice into his mouth. “Now, Paula,” he said, and Adam watched him touch her lightly on the shoulder. “I think that’s quite an exaggeration. They’re all kids. Hill is just doing what they all do. Unfortunately, because he’s my son—the principal’s son—he seems to get more attention from teachers.”

  Mrs. Zelinsky shrugged off his hand. “You know that isn’t true. He gets into trouble with us because he gets himself into trouble.”

  Mr. Parmar picked up Mrs. Gingko’s calendar and flipped through it. “I don’t know about that, Paula. But …” He paused. “Teacher reviews are coming up next week. And you’re scheduled for Tuesday, I think.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, you can bring it up then if you’d like.”

  “Yes, I think I will.”

  “How’s your husband, Rick, doing? Any luck with finding a job?”

  “No, not yet. But he has—”

  “I’m sure he’s glad that you still have a good position,” Mr. Parmar interrupted.

  Mrs. Zelinsky looked as if she was about to respond, then stopped. They were both quiet, and Adam watched as they stared at each other like two cowboys facing off in a swirl of dust.

  Mr. Parmar spoke first. “Now, I know we both have things to do. I’ll see you next Tuesday at your review, and we can discuss the issue with Hill then.”

  “No,” Mrs. Zelinsky said. “It’s all right. I don’t need to bring it up again.”

  Mr. Parmar nodded. “If you’re sure.” He turned to his office and was about to place a hand on the slippery doorknob when he looked back. “And you’d better get to your classroom, Paula. The second bell will ring any moment, and we need to start the day on time.”

  Adam watched her turn on her heel and click down the hall. He turned to Perk, who shook his head in disgust.

  “What do you say we reset the clock?” Adam whispered.

  “And I’ll turn up the volume on the loudspeaker.”

  “Perfect.”

  Mr. Parmar twisted and turned the doorknob to his office. “Dang it. What is this? Debbie! Where is that woman?”

  Using his shirt to twist the knob, he finally pulled it open. Adam wished Parmar would turn around so that he could see the greasy smear, but Mr. Parmar stepped inside and slammed the door.

  Adam and Perk slipped from their hiding place.

  “Penny him in,” Adam said, tossing Perk a dull penny. “We’ll give him some extra time to think about the upcoming teacher reviews. Mrs. Gingko will be back any minute. I’ll take care of the loudspeaker.”

  Perk grinned and jammed the penny in the crease of the office door. He then adjusted the clock while Adam turned the volume up on the announcement speaker to its highest point.

  Later on, at lunch, Adam and Perk overheard Scott say that it took two hours for Mr. Jelepy to get Parmar out of his office.

  It pays to be early for school sometimes.

  CHAPTER 2

  Perk

  His full name was Perkins Benjamin Irving.

  But that was only on his birth certificate.

  And only his mom and dad, Adam’s parents, and teachers on the first day of school ever called him Perkins. To his grandparents he was “Gingi” on account of his red hair. All other times he was Perk.

  Simple. Short. To the point. That’s how Perk liked things, for the most part. But his older brother, Tommy, was definitely not simple or short or to the point.

  But that was Tommy, the exception.

  Exception: a person or thing that is excluded from a general statement or does not follow a rule.

  Perk lived mostly in the background—watching, looking, taking things in, listening. And in all his watching, looking, taking things in, and listening, Perk had found that pretty much everything and everyone has an exception to their rules. Perk knew he had some exceptions, but generally he didn’t think he had many.

  The final bell rang. Perk stopped at his locker and pulled out his backpack.

  Adam knocked him on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m headed to the restaurant. Is this the day Tommy has his art class after school?”

  “Yep. Every. Single. Monday and Wednesday.”

  “I’ll tag along with you to the high school and then keep going.”

  “Cool.”

  Once outside, Perk and Adam threaded through the clusters of kids getting on buses or in a parent’s car and started toward the high school. He’d taken the bag of sour gummies out of his pocket because the warm spring sun was making them mush together and Tommy didn’t like them mushy or warm.

  “Tommy’s favorite?” Adam asked, kicking a rock along the sidewalk.

  Perk watched the rock skip ahead of them and then took a turn sending it careening down the cement. “Yep.”

  They continued like this, taking turns swiping at the rock, until they arrived at the school. A line of students was already sta
nding in the overgrown grass with the teachers, waiting for their parents to come by and pick them up. Perk spotted Nish getting into her mother’s red car. Tommy had had a crush on her the entire school year.

  Perk turned his gaze back to the line, expecting to see Tommy craning his neck to find him like he always did on Monday afternoon, but he wasn’t there.

  “Well, look who’s here,” Adam said, pointing to Mr. Parmar’s Shelby Cobra. “Our dear old principal.”

  Perk sneered. “Yuck. Wonder what he’s here for?”

  Mrs. Pell, one of Tommy’s teachers, smiled when Perk walked up. “Hi, Perk. Adam,” she said. “Tommy went into the bathroom real quick. He should be out in a minute, but you’re welcome to go inside. Just remember to check out with me before you leave.”